“Let Them … and Let Us Focus on What We Can Control”
By Wallace Rushing
Inspired by Mel Robbins’ The Let Them Theory
In a time of unprecedented political division, hyper-polarization and social media outrage, it’s easy to feel like everything is out of our control: how politicians act, how news is reported, how public sentiment shifts. But what if the key to regaining calm and effective engagement lies not in controlling others, but in shifting our focus to what we can control? That is the essence of Mel Robbins’ theory: two simple words — “Let Them.” Mel Robbins+1
The Political Landscape
Consider the current debate over voting rights and election integrity (or over regulation of speech on platforms). One side says: “We must force the other side to behave differently.” The other says: “We’ll punish them through the courts.” While those may be valid routes, Robbins’ message nudges us to ask: what am I controlling here? What energy am I pouring into trying to micromanage others, versus channeling into clear action of my own?
Robbins’ Two-Parts: Let Them. Let Me.
Robbins explains the first part — Let Them — means accepting that other people will act, feel, think and choose independently of you. You can’t force them to align with you. Notes by Thalia
The second part — Let Me — means you shift attention back to your own domain: your boundaries, your voice, your action. The change starts with you.
Applying It to Political Engagement
- Let Them argue, criticize, campaign, show their views. They will. You won’t stop that—and trying often burns you out.
- Then Let Me ask: What can I do?
- I can register to vote.
- I can stay informed from multiple sources.
- I can engage in local politics where I live (Ashburn, Virginia)—town halls, school boards, community meetings.
- I can listen to opposing views without letting them derail my own clarity.
- Use this framework to protect your mental energy. When you catch yourself spiraling over “why aren’t they doing X?” — pause. Remind yourself: “Let them.” Then ask: “What will I do?”
Why This Matters
In a time when political conversations often feel like tug-of-war over control, Robbins’ message invites a different posture: instead of obsessively trying to control the outcome, control your energy and your sphere of influence.
For example:
- Debates over immigration policy may feel overwhelming. But you can contact your representative, volunteer locally, donate to organizations providing relief—tasks within your control.
- If you’re frustrated with social media echo chambers, you can curate your feed, choose when to log off, initiate conversations offline.
- If you’re upset about rising division, you can choose how you speak to neighbors, friends, family—setting the tone, modelling respect, boundaries.
Final Thought
Politics will always include things outside your control. That’s OK. In fact, once you accept that—as Mel Robbins encourages—you free up energy. You then have more capacity to show up where you can make a difference.
So the next time you feel drained by the latest headline, remind yourself: Let Them. Then ask: Let Me. What’s one concrete action I can take today?
That small shift can be the difference between reactive exhaustion and purposeful engagement.
